I am not quite ready to discuss anything that might be bothering but in the sense. Yes. this isn't about what you think its about. Admittedly, I have not been on her for a ridiculously long time. I only just felt inspired to do this. I am impulsive as you all know and so . Here we are. Nothing too flashy. I'm only doing this for myself. As a kind of reflective journal for me to be able to look back on in times of boredom and soul searching. Am I tired? Sick? Bored? No, not at all. Just shelving my attempts at something great like a lot of the other folk I see on TV. Recording past and present experiences for the future. That's what this is really about. Not my friends or influences or anything. Juts memories. Now that I've made that clear to the future me. Let's get started.

Brandt Brauer Frick is a classical/electronic band that I'm listening at the VERY moment. They're decent. But then again I think that everything's decent so. I'm kind of unsure of my lief right now. What bothers/keeps me up at night is religion/cigarettes. I am not Christian any more, am I? I don't know. Is the existence of God mainly a way for society to enforce its norms on people.Is it all a scam? Why am I wondering so much? Don't we all deserve the truth? Wait, no. That's just utter bullshit. Truth is what you make of it.

I just watched a video by Erick Oh, a UCLA school of Theatre and Music graduate, called 'Heart'. Why? I saw it somewhere on a blog I read (now anyway)  called You, Me and Charlie. You might have heard of it. It's kind of a big deal (I think it is anyway). It was very good and I felt thoroughly inept of doing any good after that. It shattered me and I felt insignificant. But I was having another one of existential crisis that my friend thinks are permanent with me. I never know what to say to those kind of observations. Does one laugh? Anyway. My art however isn't suffering form this. It's sort of getting better. It is true when they say the all artists are probably heart-broken or break their own hearts to make something even slightly emotional. They're all emotionless in real life and have nothing to offer but a novel, a painting and a sonnet.

Haven't been reading a lot. Last thing I laid eyes on was 'Atala and Rene' by French author, François Rene de Chateaubriand. Nice name right? The absolute best way to introduce yourself. Nothing to it. It's very quotable if anything. But I'm usually more on top of older works so I do not understand why I cannot keep this up.

Juicebox by the Strokes. It's just very good. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not hipster and actually listen to mainstream music like the Strokes. The entire discography agrees with me (has been agreeing with me the entire month). I haven't listened to a band for such a long stretch ever. And not like one album. Every single song on all four (?) albums. And a bit of the solo efforts during that hiatus. Music-wise. It's been like folk as well. Grizzly Bear's Gun-Shy is a fixture with me. The video was made by the independent Creators' Project that I am a big fan of. It's a good one.

I haven't said everything. Sorry for the long post. I leave you with a few wise words (of random selection)

- "Forgive them, even if they are not sorry.". This is from Julian's solo album 'Phrazes for the Young', the single's called '11th Dimension'. Bye.