I am not quite ready to discuss anything that might be bothering but in the sense. Yes. this isn't about what you think its about. Admittedly, I have not been on her for a ridiculously long time. I only just felt inspired to do this. I am impulsive as you all know and so . Here we are. Nothing too flashy. I'm only doing this for myself. As a kind of reflective journal for me to be able to look back on in times of boredom and soul searching. Am I tired? Sick? Bored? No, not at all. Just shelving my attempts at something great like a lot of the other folk I see on TV. Recording past and present experiences for the future. That's what this is really about. Not my friends or influences or anything. Juts memories. Now that I've made that clear to the future me. Let's get started.

Brandt Brauer Frick is a classical/electronic band that I'm listening at the VERY moment. They're decent. But then again I think that everything's decent so. I'm kind of unsure of my lief right now. What bothers/keeps me up at night is religion/cigarettes. I am not Christian any more, am I? I don't know. Is the existence of God mainly a way for society to enforce its norms on people.Is it all a scam? Why am I wondering so much? Don't we all deserve the truth? Wait, no. That's just utter bullshit. Truth is what you make of it.

I just watched a video by Erick Oh, a UCLA school of Theatre and Music graduate, called 'Heart'. Why? I saw it somewhere on a blog I read (now anyway)  called You, Me and Charlie. You might have heard of it. It's kind of a big deal (I think it is anyway). It was very good and I felt thoroughly inept of doing any good after that. It shattered me and I felt insignificant. But I was having another one of existential crisis that my friend thinks are permanent with me. I never know what to say to those kind of observations. Does one laugh? Anyway. My art however isn't suffering form this. It's sort of getting better. It is true when they say the all artists are probably heart-broken or break their own hearts to make something even slightly emotional. They're all emotionless in real life and have nothing to offer but a novel, a painting and a sonnet.

Haven't been reading a lot. Last thing I laid eyes on was 'Atala and Rene' by French author, François Rene de Chateaubriand. Nice name right? The absolute best way to introduce yourself. Nothing to it. It's very quotable if anything. But I'm usually more on top of older works so I do not understand why I cannot keep this up.

Juicebox by the Strokes. It's just very good. Contrary to popular belief, I'm not hipster and actually listen to mainstream music like the Strokes. The entire discography agrees with me (has been agreeing with me the entire month). I haven't listened to a band for such a long stretch ever. And not like one album. Every single song on all four (?) albums. And a bit of the solo efforts during that hiatus. Music-wise. It's been like folk as well. Grizzly Bear's Gun-Shy is a fixture with me. The video was made by the independent Creators' Project that I am a big fan of. It's a good one.

I haven't said everything. Sorry for the long post. I leave you with a few wise words (of random selection)

- "Forgive them, even if they are not sorry.". This is from Julian's solo album 'Phrazes for the Young', the single's called '11th Dimension'. Bye.

reasons why i haven't been on here in a while.

i'll make this short and fast.
i haven,t posted in very long because of my incredibly, amazing, blindingly light that is my life.
never again will i attempt to escape. stay together.

1) Nat & Alex Wolff : once of the horrible Nickelodeon show, The naked brothers band, these two amazeball guys have managed to escape the bond that is teenybopper. i so proud of them. their new album, black sheep, dropped late last year. though its a bit trying-too-be-indie-, its interestingly deep AND IMMATURE AT ONCE. I REALLY LIKE it.

2) im kinda malay now. sadly.

3) The movie : its kind of a funny story. with a couple of newbies. i only know emma roberts and zach galfinakas. and stuff. forgetting that awful blunder. good coming-of-age story, teenager facing his fears, finding love (might not be true) and generally becoming a better person. happiness and indie music ( there were references to vampire weekend, bob dylan, radiohead) all this in new york.

4) the art trip to the v & a museum i have on monday.

5) my friends and how much i love them. me being not completely forever alone. i'll get married, hopefully.

6) this photo of green day

end of story. see you on the flip side.

Punting.

Punting: Travelling downriver in a punt to do some sightseeing.
That's my almost entirely incorrect definition. I did this today for no pleasure, it was a purely academic venture for Art even though I would be going with.
Needless to say, it was very pleasant and entertaining. I was very surprised by the beauty that Cambridge holds and now I have tons more respect for it.

These are some photos I took.

Movie Review & Music 17/02/12

took the train to Bluewater along with my very-sick cousins to go flaunt how awesome we were. general stuff, y'know. we took a vote on what movie we would watch.
Star Wars Episode I in 3D or Chronicle (we're sci-fi freaks)
It's obvious which one I picked. The Force.
Anyway. It ended up being Chronicle. I got outvoted (as usual, Darth Maul will simply have to wait).

But it was a REALLY good movie. so good I may have to buy the dvd when it gets out. if you haven't seen it, it's up to you to choose to read this part of the post. it would suck if the details were revealed to you.
The screenplay and plot and actors and the way it was presented and its sincerity and....
yeah. u get it. it shows how real teenagers would act if they got powers. yeah, I'm loooking at you, Peter Parker. and that's all I'm saying. Just go watch it.

Also. Cameron Mitchell. if you are not a Gleek, this name will not send butterflies to your soul. Part of the Glee Project that took place late last year, he is an aspiring musician. though he left the show for religious reasons (yes. it ISN'T the end of the teenager), he'll still moving forward.
his confidence and hipster-nerd style has really set him apart from the rest. His variety of ranges and slow raspy voice (very John Mayer who he says is a big influence) and stunning guitar-playing is very appealing to both the ears and the soul.

Anyway, he's going to blow up. And you'd wanna get on the bandwagon now. just saying.

As for his looks, I'll leave that for you to judge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4_vMiALYhGs

here's his youtube. you're welcome.

Train Ride.

am I broken-hearted?
is that the reason why my eyes water sometimes? all of a sudden?
but only when I think of you.
is that that why I look in your direction so often?
is that why I feel so alone?
is that why my heartbeat is so loud?
my palms are sweaty, my body goes into shock. everything seems a little faster than me.
why? I can't.... be this. I fear the worst. for both of us.
loneliness captivates me like a magic trick. the endless silences. the head throbbing. the incessant beeping of inner clocks as time walks by and I have less time to be. with you.
endings open like yawning mouths.
I fear the worst. but now, only for me.

Matty!

How awesome is this photo?

ACADEMIA?

I feel oddly rebellious posting this as the initial anger has fled from my being. I shall do it anyway because after reading through it, I discovered some truths.

"my mind is numbing very gradually
 my mouth is dry, no words forming, only thoughts
 in my mind. just as it numbs.
 i tire of academia.
 the entire institution of school is pulling at my threads.
 my legs flop, dead from hours of sitting
 like life being pulled away, i feel remorse and
 sincere detachment. everything is silent and
 heads bow, solving everything thrown at them.
 silent mind and pencil scraping are one.
 i tire. ever more."